


Not Anymore

by earpharmony



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: AU, Angst, Blink and you’ll miss canon Hizzie, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Hizzie - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Penelope needs a hug, The merge happens, posie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:48:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22343587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earpharmony/pseuds/earpharmony
Summary: Penelope’s back in Mystic Falls to visit Josie after years of being away.
Relationships: Penelope Park & Josie Saltzman
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	Not Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it! Sorry for any typos or mistakes.

Penelope wasn’t so sure that returning was the greatest idea, not with everyone’s judgmental stares. Being back in Mystic Falls, at the Salvatore school was chilling to the say the least. She had fought so desperately to stay the last time she had been here, but after being gone for years, it just..It no longer felt right. Not anymore. This used to be her favorite place because it contained her favorite person. 

_Not anymore_.

She was now twenty-three years old, and was finally deciding she needed to come back. Something inside of her wanted to, or had to. So there she was in all of her glory, standing in the place where she was before she left all those years ago. 

“Penelope?”

The witch turned her head and saw one of her greatest friends, it had been so long since she’d seen him in person. She wants to kick and shout at herself for being so stupid, for staying away too long, for being a coward and not facing the music. 

“MG. I-I miss you. I’m sorry, please forgive.” 

“It’s okay Peez, I missed you too. More than anything.” 

He wrapped his arms around her tightly, as if she would’ve fallen apart if he hadn’t. This time, Penelope breathed a little easier, a little better. Maybe everything will be fine, maybe the universe worked in her favor, things will be alright. 

_Not anymore_.

Penelope had been able to go through the rest of the day without seeing anyone else, she couldn’t face them. Leaving was a cowardly thing to do, and it’s all coming back to her. That night she left, she left Josie Saltzman. The love of her life, plain and simple. She did it like it was the easiest thing for her to do, but in reality she cried and she cried, until she became numb. If there’s one thing she needs to do, is ask Josie for forgiveness and to tell her she still loves her. To make it right, because it hadn’t been right.

_Not Anymore._

_——_

The next day was cloudy, it looked like it was about to rain. Something about the weather fit Penelope’s mood too perfectly. MG took her out for breakfast, somewhere in town, away from the Salvatore school. MG knew, he just knew how much strength it took for her to be back there. 

“Any idea on how long you’re staying in town?” MG asks hesitantly. 

“No idea Milton. I don’t even know if coming back was a good idea for me.”

“I think you should move back here. Get an apartment with me, we can be roomies. I’ll promise to cook our breakfasts.” 

MG promises seriously, which gets laughter out of the witch. Mission accomplished.

“Ohh, you can even become a witch teacher at the school with me, Hope, and Lizzie.” 

“Oh gosh, how is the school still even running with you three? Your students must get all the good stories, considering we all once ruled the school. The super squad per say.” 

MG laughs and nods, “They always beg to hear about the time when I had a thing for Lizzie. It’s funny because who knew that she and Hope would eventually tie the knot.” 

Penelope smiles at hearing him gush about his job and their lives. It’s refreshing to hear that they’re all happy.

“Whatever happened to wolf boy and birdy kid?”

MG snorts and chokes on his drink.

“You mean Rafael and Landon?” Penelope nods and gestures for him to continue.

”Well..let’s see. Landon got a job scouting for the school, so he’s never around as much. As for Rafael, he does help around school, I think he’s like a counselor for the wolves. You know, anger management and stuff.”

“So you all just decided to stay in Mystic Falls and work for the school?” 

MG thinks about it and then nods. 

“But back to my suggestion Peez, you should do it. It’s an offer, just let me know.” 

Penelope nods and gets back to finishing her food.

——

When they got back, she saw someone she wasn’t ready to see. Perhaps she would’ve ran away before the other girl could see her, but she stood tall and brave. 

“Penelope Park? What are you doing here?”

The blonde studied her for a moment and then released a sigh, this was unexpected. 

“I-I...” 

“Don’t hurt yourself, you don’t need to explain. Come with me, we’re gonna go somewhere to talk. If that’s okay with you?” 

“Of course.” 

The old mill looked the same, perhaps just dirtier than usual. Penelope has countless memories here, most of them good, some of them bad. But she’s glad that she still has them, after everything, it’s her most prized possession. 

“How long you here for?”

“For good, I think. MG wants me to live with him, to be roomies. But I’m not sure.” 

“I hope you do, you should. Look, just listen to what I have to say before you run off....I’m not angry with the situation anymore, I hope you aren’t either. We were so dumb to fight with one another over Josie, she was my sister and your girlfriend. Everything that I have done back then, I am so sorry for. I never should’ve let her believe that you weren’t good for her, because the truth is, you were absolutely perfect together. I should’ve let her be happy, but she didn’t get that. I blame myself everyday for that, it’s my one regret. I hope someday that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for the pain I have caused.”

“It’s the past Saltzman. Our lives are so much different, and of course it still hurts but it’s just-it’s something that will always hurt. I forgave you already, you just need to forgive yourself.” 

Silence filled the cold air, making both girls shiver. They’ve come a long way, maturity was a great thing and it helped them in the long run. Penelope and Lizzie never talked like this when they were younger, they should’ve communicated like this, but they were to angry with the situation to think clearly. The wounds of the past are slowly but surely healing. It was as if the weight of the world lifted off their shoulders, forgiveness was one tough bitch, but it was all they needed to do. 

“Are you going to visit her?” 

“I can’t...I’m scared, I don’t want the worst to be true. I keep telling myself that one day, I’ll wake up and we’ll back in school and we’ll be sixteen again. But reality sets in and I know that I should’ve stayed all those years ago.”

“You were just doing what you thought was right to do, don’t ever blame yourself. She will always love you, don’t ever forget that. You’ve got me, MG, and Hope. Anytime and anyplace, we’ll come running to help you, because you are family. It’s something you’ve always been.” 

“ Thank you Saltzman.”

A few minutes of silence pass before Lizzie remembers something. 

“ Everyone is having dinner tonight, and if you’re up to it, you should come.” 

“Sure, I need this in my life. I missed you guys.”

Lizzie gets up from the stair she was sitting on. She bends down and gives Penelope a tight hug, not knowing if she needed it or if Penelope needed it, but perhaps they both needed it. 

Penelope stayed at the old mill till the sun set. She needed to be there, in that spot that was once theirs. Hers and Josie’s. Countless nights there together. She stayed and retraced the carved letters on the table that was right beside her.

_ J + P till the day the earth no longer exists.  _

It hurt a thousand times, like her chest was crushed by the hands of sorrow. What once was the greatest thing to ever happen to her, no longer exists. 

_Not anymore_. 

——

She checks the time on her phone, it was finally seven o’clock and dinner was to be at eight. Penelope talked herself into seeing Josie. She needed to, but the fear in her heart was strong, so she backs out. 

Half an hour later, Penelope does go and when she gets there, the words get stuck in her throat. She stares with so much sadness, anger, and regret. She wipes away furiously at her tears, but they won’t stop coming. The sound of rain now coming down hard, but the only thing she can hear is the beat of her heart. Fast, but like a broken record. She reads the tombstone over and over again until her eyes can’t focus because of the tears. Her sobs are loud and full of anguish, it feels like the walls are closing in on her and she can’t breathe. 

_ Josie Saltzman _

_ A daughter, a sister, and a friend.  _

_ May her soul prosper in the depths of heaven, and let her light shine down on her loved ones. _

The merge did happen and the result of it all, Josie Saltzman had lost her life. The news was spread to Penelope so fast, but she didn’t want to believe it. Her heart refused to believe that the girl she once loved was gone. Coming here and seeing the tombstone, not hearing her voice or laughter, and seeing the sorrow that the Salvatore school carried with them tore her down bit by bit. 

She wasn’t here anymore.  _ Not anymore _ . 

Penelope couldn’t tell Josie to her face that she loved her.  _ Not anymore _ . 

Josie was no longer alive and Penelope couldn’t hold her.  _ Not anymore _ . 

Life is such a fickle thing, it gives and gives which means you take and take. But what happens when you no longer want what it gives? Penelope wanted Josie to be here, alive and healthy. Life is now giving her a future with no Josie, a thing she despises, she doesn’t want. She couldn’t even breathe at the thought that although they had been apart, Josie would no longer cease to exist physically. She would forever remain in the hearts of everyone she loved, and who had loved her. In Lizzie, in her parents, MG, and Hope. The truth that everyone knows is that Penelope got the best of her, she knew things no one knew about Josie. They had a special connection that no one understood. They were in love with each other. 

“Jojo.” 

Penelope’s voice cracked and wavered. She puts her hand on the tombstone and traces the witches name.  _Josie Saltzman_. 

“I‘m so sorry. For leaving you, I was scared. Now the the worst fear I had ever had, came true. You’re not here. Not anymore. For years, I was scared to come back and see you. I wasn’t brave enough to face you after leaving like a coward. I figured if I lived my life without you, it would be easier for you to focus on finding something to stop it or for you to become strong to win. I should’ve stayed. Gosh I should’ve stayed.”

Penelope’s crying comes louder and she does shout in despair. Lizzie, MG, and Hope finds her there. She missed dinner and they had a hunch as to why. The sight made their hearts ache. Penelope sat across the tombstone with tear-stained cheeks, eyes staring straight at it. Lizzie wants to cry, MG refuses to stare any longer at the sight, and Hope knows she needs to be the strong one. 

“Penelope...”

“Don’t. Please. I can’t spend one more day with everyone feeling sorry for me, my parents already have been doing it since they’ve found out.” 

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Penelope, without a doubt Josie loves you. Although she isn’t here anymore, she still lives in your heart. Focus on the good memories you two had, and honor her.” 

Hope says while going to sit down next to her and pulling her in a side hug. They all sat down next to one another and held each other. 

“I love her so much. More than life itself, but what is life without her? I should’ve just fucking came back and fought to be with her. I was a coward and...and now I’m sitting here trying to figure out if life is worth living. Josie Saltzman is my anchor, and she’s-she’s...Oh my god, she’s gone...” 

Penelope’s voice trembles, tears are streaming down her face fast. She rocks back and forth trying to calm herself, but nothing was working.

“Don’t you dare think of it. She wants you to live for yourself now, she knew how much you cared for her. She knew you tried to find a way to stop it too, but the merge was something that was always going to happen.” 

MG raises his voice as he talks.

“I have something for all of you. I was waiting for Penelope to come back.” 

All heads turned to the voice that spoke, it was Caroline .  She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out an envelope and then extends her arm out to them. 

_ To my losers and the love of my life. _

_ This envelope contains a letter for each and everyone of you.  _

_ Lizzie, my dearest sister.  _

_ Hope, my confidant. _

_ MG, my best friend and nerdy partner.  _

_ Penelope, the love of my life and my soulmate.  _

Penelope opens the paper and scans the handwriting. It pulls at her heart and more tears come out. 

_ To the one who holds my heart for eternity,  _

_ If you’re reading this, then I guess I’m no longer there. Life is crazy. But I’m glad that in my life, I got to love you and be loved by you. I know it hurts baby, and that we should’ve fought harder but fear makes you do crazy things. Just know that, there is no one who is more deserving of a happy ending than you. I want you to be happy, live the rest of your life knowing that I love you. More than anything. Forgive yourself, because I know you’re probably blaming yourself. But if you’re blaming yourself then you need to put the blame on me as well. I didn’t fight for you, for what I wanted. I let you walk away, and that was a mistake. My heart is yours. So when you’re old with lots of wrinkles, just remember that I love you in this life and the next, in this universe and the others. _

_ Don’t be so hard on yourself. The world deserves to know the Penelope Park that I know.  _

_ With the very best of me,  _

_ Jojo _

After reading their own letters, everyone refused to leave the tombstone. MG was the first to pass out, Lizzie following second. Hope and Penelope were the only ones left awake. 

“Are you staying?”

“I don’t know if there’s anything for me here. Not anymore. The only reason why I wanted to be in Mystic Falls was because of Josie.” 

“For what it’s worth, I think you should stay. You have a family here, always and forever.” 

Penelope doesn’t respond, she just stares ahead at the tombstone, hoping that wherever Josie is, she found peace. After a few minutes, both of them pass out of exhaustion. They all sleep soundly around Josie’s tombstone, to heartbroken to move. 

That’s how Alaric finds them in the morning, he himself cries a little at the sight. Watching these kids grow together and then seeing them lose a piece of themselves was hard. 

Penelope does decide to stay in the end. She also ends up working at the school, teaching the witches defensive magic. It makes her happy, and she gets to tell her students stories about Josie. She tells them about how one time Josie burned her hair off because she had purposely kissed MG to make her, which makes them laugh. 

Every year from then on, they all dedicate one day besides remembrance day. Just one day to spend together, at Josie’s grave. It’s what keeps Josie’s spirit alive, in the end it brings them closer than ever. 

Penelope doesn’t cry anymore, she focuses on being happy because it’s what Josie wanted. She doesn’t isolate herself or be hard on herself. 

_Not anymore_. 

Instead, she lets the world know the Penelope that Josie knew.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave comments and follow my twitter @saltzmanjojo :)


End file.
